Sometimes God puts you in places and spaces that feel much bigger than you. Existing, moving, and thriving in those environments can cause you to handle a wide range of emotions and consequently can prompt you to question everything around you. Some days it can feel exciting, unique, and liberating, and other days, it will feel scary, overwhelming, and stressful. Throughout these past six months, I have experienced all of these emotions at rampant speed. Well, six months ago, I moved my life from Maryland to Chicago to embark upon a new journey. That's right! I moved during a pandemic to chase my dreams and push myself to escape my comfort zone. That bold step to me felt a little "too good" to be "true," but I was confident that I was well prepared to go anywhere where God has instructed me to go. My core beliefs say that sometimes God puts you in "too good" to be "true" spaces which translate themselves in my mind to be "God spaces." Those are the spaces where only God can put you, and only God himself can help you maintain it all. Yeah, "That's it. That's the tweet", or whatever the kids say these days. During that time, my prayers, looked like the one quoted below. I learned then how important it was to be disciplined in your prayer life, but that is a story for another time.
Thank you. You outdid yourself with this one. Indeed, I am honored. However, do you mind helping me here? This new season will take time for me to adjust to, but I am up for the challenge. My thoughts and feelings are everywhere. I struggle to give you complete sentences in these prayers. I can, however, give you tears of joy, gratitude, and grief easily."
That's exactly how I felt when moving to Chicago. I moved to this brand new city during the middle of a snowstorm, and I swear the temperature outside was in the teens. The day I moved into my new place is the first time that I visited the city. Yeah, It was a bold move, but "bold" is my middle name when anxiety is not kicking my butt. Ha! I always felt energized while being in the city and hoped to live one day in a major city, but living in Chicago was not something that I had reasonably expected. I didn't know anyone, and being in a pandemic didn't make connecting with people any more uncomplicated. It felt enormous, and being without a support system made it an even weirder transition process, but I felt incredibly blessed overall by the experience. I learned so much about myself, and I learned to trust the voice of God. I also knew that it was okay to be realistic with your emotions and became increasingly comfortable accepting that change can be incredibly tough. The difference also can be life-changing, life-saving, and so much more. I encourage those reading this to watch the sermon I've highlighted from Mike Todd entitled "Your Pain Prepares You for Your Purpose." His statement about the "deep not having friends" was something that I could relate to, and I am sure it resonates with others on journeys of self discovery and obedience to a higher call. After all, there are certain seasons of life where everything and everyone around you changes. Anyway, I will tell you more about my journey very soon. It's only just beginning!